The Black Tulip No. 2
The Hague--The Dutch Court issued a public statement today indicating that the Court is prepared to abandon its long-standing policy of neutrality and and seek alliances in defense of Holland. The statement does not specifiy if Holland will wait until after being attacked before seeking alliances, or if Holland will seek alliances based on threats alone. While the statement itself does not name to whom the warning is directed, most court observers understand that the warning was aimed at Paris. An unnamed official from the Dutch Ministery of Foreign Affairs today confirmed that diplomatic ties between France and Holland had recently broken down after weeks of difficult talks. In addition, the statement confirms rumors that the Dutch army and navy have been augmented and mobilized in defense of the homeland. The text of the statement is included below:
Statement of the Grand Republic of Holland, 1793
Let it be known to all nations that the Grand Republic of Holland will not bow to the threats of any nation. Should any nation seek to impose its will on the people of Holland by force of arms, the Grand Republic of Holland will resist with force of arms and seek alliance with willing nations. Let it also be known that this day the Grand Monarch of Holland, His Majesty Monarch Cornelius Bols, has ordered the mobilization of armies and navies in the defense of sovereign Dutch territory at home and abroad.
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- koolguy66
- Sakkal
- David Adams
- rkimler
- AZTiger98
The Dutches are ANGRY! They stomp their wooden shoes!
Mes Amis,
Diplomatic ties are not broken down!
They are cast in the trash heap due to the double-dealings of the pig eyed "Dutch Team."
They speak from both sides of their mouths, courting France and England at the same time - then backing off from France while placing their lips squarely upon the bulldogs arse!
They will resist!
They will seek alliances!
They will use force of arms!
They mobilize!
Excusez-moi, I soil my pants in fear!
You want to push the game-piece one millimeter from the edge of the cliff, do you, Dutchman?
Here is the next move . . . declare war on France!
The thought of losing all of those crowns puckers your prune, eh?
You will not do it, you are all talk, blah, blah, blah, blah. . .
We await you, gin drinkers! Come, cross the line!
Lebrun
Otto von Baden
Seiner Durchlaucht Markgraf von Baden-Durlach
Rat der Fürsten des Heiligen Römischen Reiches
Minister für auswärtige Angelegenheiten des Heiligen Römischen Reiches
Flottillenadmiral
Round, Thick and Obstinate
Round, Thick and Obstinate
What does that describe? A Dutchman’s head. Having just returned from a short reconnaissance, I mean, vacation in Holland, I have a few observations about the Dutch character.
Many foreigners call everything Dutch…well…'Dutch'. Don't! The word Dutch reminds Dutch people of the word Duits which is used for Germans and other things they dislike. A Dutch person is a Hollander or a Nederlander.
As a foreigner, don't ever try to speak Dutch. Not only will you get an enormous headache, but the Hollanders will not understand what you mean. Foreigners are supposed to speak English. This makes the Rosbifs an easy target for pickpockets since they are not able to talk to the police.
Don't ever try to eat 'drop'. (Dutch Licorice) Drop is a sort of candy that can only be eaten by Hollanders. It can be recognized by the color - black. The taste is a blend between earwax and paint. Hollanders absolutely adore the stuff and eat many kilos of it. There is a nationwide conspiracy to laugh in the faces of foreigners who are made to believe the stuff is actually edible.
A Hollander is always right and he knows it. With this in mind it is very easy to cope with most Hollanders. If you ever get in an argument with a Hollander, tell him he is absolutely right and that you now realize how wrong you were. Then he will go crazy. Since you're a foreigner, you can never be right. You agree with him, therefore he couldn't be right. Impossible. He's a Hollander. But…then…he…Now is the time to take a step back and observe how the Hollander will try to strangle himself with a tulip.
Whether you're catholic, protestant or a worshipper of Urrrgl the god of all Honest politicians, in Holland it will be easy to find a church, temple or oak tree of your liking. Hollanders are supposed to be very tolerant of other religions and beliefs. This is not true. The only reason Holland has so many churches, sects, and cults is the fact they have a difference in opinion about everything. A Hollander is always right (see above) and anyone that does not agree can beat it and start his own church.
That brings us to the drivel published recently in The Black Tulip – Holland’s only newspaper and one that should not survive much longer given their policy of printing Anglais propaganda. For shame – feed the Rosbifs licorice and pick their pockets.
Jean-Paul Marat,
Publisher
L'Ami du Peuple
Paris
Drop
I agree, I tried one time and - without doubt - Drop is the most disgusting thing I ever ate in my life, and I include all the insects and dirt I ate when I was a small kid.
Marcelo
hollandse dropjes
Marcelo - I thought you had great taste!
http://nederdropje.blogspot.com/2009/06/hollandse-drop.html
John Vanvark
Yes, that's the thing
I tried that one which looks like a little bird. I sent the piece I spat on the floor to be analysed.
Detailed chemical analysis showed that the candy was made by Sauron in Mount Doom.