GAZETTE de PARIS #3 - Men of France! Allies of France! Enemies of Tyranny!
I was thinking tonight of the English transports loaded with troops facing continental France and our Departments overseas.
Faced with this invasion from abroad, and the Prussian hordes poised to pierce the heart of my motherland . . . these words came to me . . . as if from heaven . . . so I put my quill to paper and write . . .
I have, myself, full confidence that if we all do our duty, if nothing is neglected, and if the best arrangements are made, as they are being made, we shall prove ourselves once again able to defend our home, to ride out the storm of war, and to outlive the menace of tyranny, if necessary for years, if necessary alone.
That is the will of the French nation and all who flock to our banner!
France, Holland, Palatine, Switzerland and our secret treaty partners who are linked together in their cause and in their need, will defend to the death their native soil, aiding each other like good comrades to the utmost of their strength.
Even though large tracts of Europe and many old and famous States may fall into the grip of the British and Prussian invaders and all the odious apparatus of totalitarian rule, we shall not flag or fail.
We shall go on to the end, we shall fight in France,
we shall fight on the seas and oceans,
we shall fight with growing confidence and growing strength, whatever the cost may be,
we shall fight on the beaches,
we shall fight on the landing grounds,
we shall fight in the fields and in the streets,
we shall fight in the hills;
we shall never surrender!
Who's new
- L. B. Thomas
- Clyde Hayman
- BaronOdeland
- Justin Falston
- randaham
Flying Dutchman Found
Esteemed Readers,
Alas, the Flying Dutchman of my last post was found to be a cruel hoax. Some scaliwags decided to pull one over on their old Admiral, and for a while I was even believing their fanciful tales of a mystery ship that disappeared into the murky darkness of the West Indies night.
The reality of the situation is more mundane; not so much a "Flying" Dutchman, as a "Scuttling" Dutchman. I am not sure whether they were inspired to conduct experiments in the fashion of that new-fangled submersible invention of a certain Mister Fulton, but their ship most certainly met its demise at its owner's hands.
On a separate note, should Mr. Midshipman Donohoe indeed bring his prize into harbour, we would be most pleased to appoint him to the rank of Lieutenant, with all the duties and responsibilities that entails (provided he passes his exams). It must be noted that we are not desperate to commission our 11 year olds, but merely find it a good learning experience for the lads.
Happy Holidays,
Admiral Sir David Angst
First Sea Lord
HMS Britannia
Postscript: Do you know when another edition of this newspaper is to be published? We seem to not have gotten past issue number 3...
Thanks From An Avid Reader
Dear Mr Monseer,
I just thought that I would write and ask you to pass on my hearty thanks to the gentlemen who run the navy of your country for giving me this chance too show Mr Chappell, the 1st Lieutenant, that I have been listening to all the navigational instruction that he and Mr Groves, The sailing master, have been giving me on our ship HMS Lark, over the last two months.
The Captin picked me to take command of the Frigate that we captured outside Toulon a couple of days ago. HMS Bravoure. Mr Chappell says that, God Help Me I’d better not get lost, but that we don’t ave many more experienced officers than me just now cause of the fact that we keep capturing your Frigates and keep having to put prize crews on them.
My friend, N.E. Mooreships asked me to see if it was posible for him to get one of your frigates to. I said I wood write and ask you, but between me and you he can’t really tell port from s’board just yet.
Yours Faihfully
Midshipman Gerrard Donohoe,
Acting Lieutenant,
Commanding Officer
His Britannic Majesty’s Frigate Bravoure
Formerly of His Britannic Majesty’s Frigate Lark.
P.s. Apologies for sum of my spelling but I am only eleven years old just now
Add One More Thing to This Wonderful Year (well, 4 actually)
Esteemed Readers,
Let us add 4 more victims of the French revolution, and of the Dutch's poor decision:
Ceres, Frekvogel, Clorinde, Bravoure.
Were I a betting man, I would wager that you hadn't thought the Dutch Frigate fleet so huge. Well, they still have 4 left. Somewhere. Please send a message to us at the Admiralty if you spot one. They are becoming more rare.
We even have reports of a Dutch Ship of the Line disappearing into thin air! I may have to issue a directive to cut the grog rations in half.
If only the French would come out and play.
Singing - "We never see the French, but we wish them to stay. They always see us and they wish us away. If they run, we will follow; we will drive them ashore, and if they won't fight, we can do no more."
Wishing your readership a Happy Christmas (since we didn't get rid of our religion, we get paid holidays - so how do you like your Revolution now, eh?).
Admiral Sir David Angst
First Sea Lord
Aboard and bored on HMS Britannia,
Celebrating the Holidays with the (captured) spirits of Christmas present
What Do These Names Have In Common?
Monsewer Editor,
Let's play a word game! What do these names all have in common?
Concorde, Cybele, Creole, Cheverette, Alceste, Regineree.
Scipio, Antelope, Wraage, Atalanta, Pallas, Minerve, Amazoon, Hector, Duifze, Constitutie.
Resistance, Buonaparte, Prudente.
Give up?
Might as well, they all did.
Actually, it is a trick question. I have pulled a little prank on your readers. The first two lists are French and Dutch ships sunk by the Royal Navy, while the third list are French ships taken by the Royal Navy. There was no list for Dutch ships taken; they seem to be willing, however misguidedly, to sell their lives less cheaply for your silly revolution than your own sailors are.
Score 19 to 2.
Admiral Sir David Angst
First Sea Lord
HMS Britannia, ruling the waves
Apologies
I beg the understanding of your readership: the actions of my naval officers have made a liar out of me, on two points. It grieves me to report such a misrepresentation of the facts, but I shall endeavour to correct my last posting.
Point the first: Apparently Dutch ships DO strike their colours; the Unie was taken as a prize by our gallant Danish allies. Perhaps it is a Northern European thing.
Point the second: The score is now 23-2; I must needs to update my previous list to include the Mars and Rutkoff sunk on the Dutch side, and the Junon sunk on the French side.
With so many sinkings, our frigate captains have had standing orders issued to them, so as to prevent damage to their ships and inadvertantly running over Dutchmen flailing about in the water, to whit:
"Pass the Dutchie on the Starboard side."
Again, my most humble apologies for providing your discerning readers with inaccurate information.
Admiral Sir David Angst
First Sea Lord
HMS Britannia, Britannia Rules the Waves
Avoiding the Flotsam and Jetsam
Pass the Dutchie
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=crm86Hyk5xw
John Vanvark
Skagerrak
The Dutch frigate Alarm was sunk and all hands were lost.
24-2
Subject line says it all.
Lollygaggers
Skip: 2 and 24. How'd we ever make 2?
Larry: It's a miracle!
Who names your ships?
Dear Editor,
We were wondering who at your Naval Ministry is responsible for naming your naval vessels. We recently came into possession of several slightly-used frigates of yours, one of which was named Buanapoarte, or Bonaparte, or Buoananapart, or some such strange name, certainly not French in origin.
After a most tedious and comprehensive search of all church records and documents in various embassy archives across the continent, we can only find reference to an obscure artillery officer of yours.
Could you please enlighten us?
Admiral Sir David Angst
First Sea Lord
Aboard HMS Britannia,
Somewhere on the high seas
Post Script: We kept the name - now HMS Buonaparte.
Bounaparte
Le Bounaparte is a sixth-rate frigate of 28 guns, her keel was laid in 1740 in Brest and she formerly sailed as the "Jouet d' Roi."
She had her hull holed 4 times with major rigging damage as she single-handedly fought a squadron of 8 British frigates while on coastal patrol off Toulon.
Despite her small size and tiny armament, she was able to inflict considerable damage on her attackers, fighting them all at close quarters.
Her Captain and all officers were killed by cannon fire or splinters and 26 of her guns were silenced.
Still firing her 6 pound bow chasers, she was boarded and overwhelmed and captured.
Her colors were brought ashore by Citizen Genet, who, picking them up from the deck, bundled them and swam to a nearby Corsican fishing smack and was brought into the harbor.
Genet stated: "Six of them we could have taken, but it the eight of them was too much - they simply overwhelmed us."
Otto von Baden
Seiner Durchlaucht Markgraf von Baden-Durlach
Rat der Fürsten des Heiligen Römischen Reiches
Minister für auswärtige Angelegenheiten des Heiligen Römischen Reiches
Flottillenadmiral
You Lie
You lie Mr Brown. I was there. You weren't. If you were you'd be locked in my cellar in Gibraltar. I have your ship's colours in my locker.
And we didn't attack her with 8 frigates. We decided to make it even odds and sent in only our dispatch boat, a schooner. The fight was over in 10 minutes. The schooner suffered two casualties, lightly wounded. Your frigate also suffered two casualties. Both dead. One, an old man of an apparent heart attack. The other was your frigate's captain who drowned jumping overboard in fright as our schooner approached. The rest of the crew quickly gave up. Any other story is pure Jacobin fantasy.
By the way, we have your codes. The captain forgot to take them with him on his plunge.
Oliver Penrice,
Commodore
Jim Voege
Strange noises heard in Les Invalides
Keeping a ship called "HMS Buonaparte" is unnatural, at the very least. The guy must be kicking his tomb right now, and if it cracks open he will pull your feet at night .
Marcelo
We Few, We Happy Few...
Perhaps another quote for M. Lebrun to express his defiance (while we're plagiarizing):
"I love France so well that I will not part with a village of it."
Oh, wait. That was Henry V.
Of England.
After Agincourt.
Maybe we'll use that one later...
I am no bard but
The Lady doth protest too much
French Forces
Perhaps the Continental European Powers should reflect on the Naval vs Land forces that the French and their Allies have built and the implications of how France aims to achieve victory, rather than listening to all this rhetoric.
But then, perhaps the question has not been asked.
John Vanvark
You have ruined the "plagarized quotations' thread!
No questions ~ the time for answers is upon us!
As you Rosbifs say: "The proof of the pudding is in the eating."
I love custards - but you have chosen Blood Pudding.
Otto von Baden
Seiner Durchlaucht Markgraf von Baden-Durlach
Rat der Fürsten des Heiligen Römischen Reiches
Minister für auswärtige Angelegenheiten des Heiligen Römischen Reiches
Flottillenadmiral
Jolly Good
Did you say you were planning to fight at sea? How very sporting of you.
A Reader
You Can Almost Hear Him Sweat
You must appreciate that the Gaul rolled over for Caesar before Christ was born and hasn't been off his knees since.
So, when seeking brave words to plagiarize he must, inevitably, search abroad. How appropriate then that he would find that which he needs out of the mouth of one of the warrior race which inhabits the land on the other side the Channel.
Jim Voege
The English are rather confusing to me
Perhaps one of you from Britain can enlighten me. When making statements about the lack of military prowess by the French, is there some reason why Guillaume le Bâtard is overlooked. Wasn't he born in Normandy, spoke French, and sucessfully invaded England and thus ruined your language?
Also, didn't a Dutchman successfully invade and take over your country in 1688 and defeat the English army in Ireland the following year?
Call me mad, but even your current king isn't really English. Georg is German, which might actually be a good thing as none of your "English" kings were ever really successful in defeating the French in the long run. Crecy and Agincourt were nice battles but you couldn't even keep Calais in the long run.
If you are successful in defeating the French this time, the victory will clearly be a German one as at least half your army is German as are your Prussian allies.
Von Gottes Gnaden König von Preußen
Enlightenment, as requested
William the Conqueror was Norman, a Norseman whose heritage was Norwegian or Danish and as such a welcome contribution to the hybridization of the modern Briton which already include much Danish. William was as much a Gaul as you. His language was Norman, certainly not French.
In 1688 Mary II of England, daughter of James II was invited by the English people to become their queen in the place of her soon to be deposed father. At her insistence, the English parliament decided that her husband, William III, Stadtholder of Holland would rule jointly with her. The only thing William would defeat in Ireland was the Jacobite army composed of Irish rebels and French.
You say I am German. What is a German? What is Germany? I know of no such place. I know of a cultural and linguistic collectivity termed Germanic. But to call someone a German has about as much meaning as calling a man an Italian or a Slav. I was born in Britain. English is my first language. It is true I am the Elector of Hanover and Duke of Brunswick-Lüneburg as were my ancestors. As a member of the House of Welf I trace my lineage back to the heads of many central European states including, I should add, the Duchy of your very own Saxony. I suppose then that you could say that I am Saxon. Or perhaps you are Hanoverian. There are many interpretations of the co-mingling of the Germanic nobility over the centuries. All we can truly be sure of is what we are now. And one thing now is therefore very certain. I am British. And you are Saxon. And neither of us is German.
It is natural for you as a Saxon to view the world as no broader than the plain in which your Electorate sits. However, be advised that we British, when we defeat France, will have had the privilege of doing so shoulder to shoulder with a great many allied peoples in a great many places, some of which are close to your Electorate and some of which are very far indeed.
And when we do so, whether you contribute or not, your beloved Sachsen will be safe from Gaulish depredations as it most assuredly is not now. For proof of this you need only journey to and speak to your fellow "Germans" at Koeln, Dortmund, Bremen and Hanover.
Jim Voege
Lebrun Has A Solution! Germany!
Do not argue, King Rosbif, you have put dozens of good men to sleep with the flawed history you have skewed to advance your own position - - - much like current Anglais foreign "policy." Do we have to raise our hand if wish to leave the lecture? But no . . .
So smug . . . have you secretly spoken to the Pope whom you English "deposed" from your nation? It sounded like you were "pontificating!"
Yes, yes, you English do have a rich history of destroying things you do not like - you do not like the strictures of a religion so you eliminate it and create your own.
Now you do not like a republican French government, who has never threatened England, so what do you do? Eliminate it and create one to your liking!
When you pull the cord and Hannover jumps, what will be the next Germanic nation-State will you seek to replace?
Here is Lebrun's solution:
Much like the Italian union of nation-States, all Germanic electorates, duchies and principlaities, should Unite in a common
bond and purpose - to defeat a war-mongering England who would force a government that belittles their very heritage upon them!
Read King Rosbif's words!
Unite into a confederation called Germany!
Otto von Baden
Seiner Durchlaucht Markgraf von Baden-Durlach
Rat der Fürsten des Heiligen Römischen Reiches
Minister für auswärtige Angelegenheiten des Heiligen Römischen Reiches
Flottillenadmiral
An interesting Proposal
Certainly Hannover would be happy to participate in a germanic union as proposed. A government of all German states, to include Holland, who would chose their single monarch by majority vote of the German people which would then chose his cabinet. The new German state would be then entitled to decided to decide which existing treaties it would keep, which it would discard as redundant and which it would discard as contrary to the interests of this new German state. It would further be entitled to all the rights and privileges of any other state -- to make new treaties, to declare war, to make peace.
Great Britain is already on record with the german states as supporting such an idea.
Sir George Mackay
German Nation
Great! King of Prussia and Kaiser of Germany. I like that!
Versailles again
Arch Duke of Austria
King of Bavaria
Lord Elector of Bavaria
Duke of Roma
Angel of Sweden
General-Oberst Kaiserlich & Königliche Armee
General of Royal Army of Naples
Marshal of France ( Bourbon )
Premier of Austria
- Austriae est imperare orbi
A Germanic state
Sadly, I think I will not live to see the day that all of the German speaking states unite to a single nation. I don't see how the Austrians and Prussians would be able to agree upon a leader. It would be a remarkable day though and certainly one upon which the Earth should tremble.
I don't know about including Holland in a united German state. I can understand an illiterate Swabian pig farmer better than I can a Walloon. I think the Walloons and the Nederlanders would rather not be part of a greater German state anyway. I am not speaking with any animosity towards the Nederlanders. I respect them and their country. I am just stating that I think they enjoy their independence and wish to remain separate.
It is a shame that no scholar has traveled through the lands to catalogue all of the regions of Europe that speak the Germanic language. Perhaps I should commission such a project.
Von Gottes Gnaden König von Preußen
Why not just leave it up to
Why not just leave it up to the Dutch to decide whether they join?
Jim Voege
The Dutch
I'd be happy to hear from the Dutch. I'm surprised the English are suggesting the Dutch be invited to join with German states as the Dutch have joined the French in their war and would likely want to bring the other German states into the conflict on their side.
In the interest of a united Germany and peace in the world, perhaps the King of England will waive all claim to his titles in Hanover to the King of Sachsen. Then from there, my kingdom can negotiate with the Dutch and German states to become a unified country. Then the English can focus on their war with France and leave the Germans out.
Von Gottes Gnaden König von Preußen
Perhaps it would be best if
Perhaps it would be best if your Elector (not King) spoke for himself.
OOC -- You get the GA to agree and we'll negotiate. We've already tried to no avail. We have done everything in our power to unify Germany, including the cessation of our claims in Hanover in the hope that it would help. We actually had a deal done with another German state. But we were forbidden. I'm sorry. The GA has us trapped here and we're just trying to make the best of it.
And as a result we've got a big Franco-Dutch bullseye painted on us. Don't laugh buddy. You're next.
Jim
Jim Voege
What a Surprise!
England may get its Christmas presents very early this year!
I had purchased a fine spring-coated weasel in a gilded cage, but I was told that
when your Foreign Service opened its doors your country was overrun with weasels.
So I looked to the Germanic nation-States, rich in natural resources, food delights, crafts and wonderful, friendly people.
We do hope you like surprises!
I can see you are excited already. . . it is not unusual for France to succeed where England has failed.
Otto von Baden
Seiner Durchlaucht Markgraf von Baden-Durlach
Rat der Fürsten des Heiligen Römischen Reiches
Minister für auswärtige Angelegenheiten des Heiligen Römischen Reiches
Flottillenadmiral